Too Fat To Serve God

I got too fat to serve God. I know that after you read that first line, you might disagree or come up with many different ways to serve God that does not have a lot of moving around involved. I just could not settle for that. I am blessed beyond measure that I am healthy and smart and have friends and family who love me. I have a great job that I love to get up and go to every weekday morning. I love all things creative and love shopping and traveling and love my Dad's dog Charlie. However I knew I was not doing what I need to for God because I was too fat. I did not have energy; I did not want to go anywhere;  I isolated myself from most everything except for work. The first thing I thought about was my weight and would ___________fill in the blank be possible. I avoided people and social situations. I avoided church for years. I could not be "active" in my church. I just did not have anything left over at 6:00pm on Friday evening. I was not obeying God. We are supposed to be telling people about Jesus Christ, what he did for us and how they can have salvation and eternal life. I just could not do it. I was way too self conscious and why would someone want what I have? Would they look at me and say well look how fat she is. If God can't help her then I don't want any part of it. I have to talk to people about my salvation. It is not an option.

Matthew 28:16-20

New International Version (NIV)

The Great Commission

 ¹⁶ Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. ¹⁷ When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. ¹⁸ Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. ¹⁹ Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

I started reaching out and getting help and over the several months, I have felt more peace than ever before. I am still fat, but I am on the way to not being fat anymore. It is slow, and I backslide and could be working harder, but I don't think or could not picture myself sliding all the way back down the hill to where I was at.
Some of the "help" I have been getting have been have come in lots of different forms.
Here are some people and situations that have directly impacted me and my journey. Not in any particular order.
1) My Dr, Dr LeFever and her staff have been extremely supportive and encouraging. I go every couple of months or so to check in. So far all my numbers are good and even coming down.
2) My dermatologist also brought up my weight. She did it in such a great way and with such ease, I did not feel embarassed or defensive. She truly cares about me and knows that my psoriasis would probably be better if I lost the weight. Just writing this, I am amazed at how many people and situations God has brought to me to help with my healthy lifestyle change.
3) I feel better - a great motivator.
4) I look a little better - wonderful motivator.
5) I am seeing it in pictures - terrific motivator.
6) People are noticing - yea!!! 
7) My clothes are getting a little baggier and I am dragging out some smaller sizes.
8) I went to Kohls and can actually wear some of their clothes now. HUGE MOTIVATOR!!!
9) I attend individual counseling as well as group therapy for eating disorders.
10) I reached out to a company in Jasper who was promoting a healthy lifestyle and met my friend, Stephanie, who got me into the 5K's. I started walking in Oct and have done one 5K every month since then. I plan to make a quilt out of my tee shirts once I get enough of them.
11) Angela from Pickens Progress did an article on Stephanie and myself and is willing to do a follow up article. That helped and encouraged me.
12) I went back to church and my church family is the best. I feel like I belong for the first time ever.
13) I started this blog because I wanted to keep a record of stuff that happened along my journey and hopefully to be able to help someone else who struggles with the same or similar stuff.
14) My sister Julie has also been a rock. She loves me no matter what which is unconditional love.
15)We have had a couple of weightloss contests here at work and started promoting healthy snacks. I did not win this last one but I lost 12.8 lbs so I was thrilled with that.
16) I talk to God about this stuff that I struggle with.

17) My sister ran across a Bible Study which we started and need to finish.

18) A frend from work was walking with me for a while. I have gotten out of the habit of exercising and really need to get back to that. I am not sure why I don't love to exercise, but right now I don't. Unless it is swimming. I loooove swimming. That is something that I have missed and mourned for so many years because of being fat. Can't wait until I can go swimming.

19) I know people have been praying for me and my success.
20) My Dad tells me how proud he is of me!

21) My Aunt Sue is so encouraging and offering her help and advice. She is going to buy me a brand new wardrobe!

22) My cousin, Beth, has been such an inspiration. She has lost a lot of weight and sizes and looks great!

23) I can move around better

24) things are not as difficult to do

25) when I bend over my stomach does not stop me half way there!

26) I have more energy.

27) I have committed to a job in the church

There are probably more, so when I think of them. I will add to this list.

Charlie boy

Funny thing that happened at Walmart

After my wonderful uplifting experience with my 4th 5K at Veterans Memorial Park in Dawsonville, I decided to stop in at the local Walmart there on 400. I don't shop at Walmart often but there was something there that I needed to get (a personalized tag.) They have this machine that etches a tag for you on the spot. Anyway, after walking 3.16 miles and drinking water,  I really had to go pee. I walked up to the bathrooms and saw a few carts parked right outside the entrances to the between the two bathrooms. I glanced to the right and saw a leopard print sweater in one of the shopping carts and headed around the cart into the bathroom. I kind of made a little turn and then straight ahead was the handicapped stall and it was occupied. I noticed through the little space in the door and the wall and thought wow, that is a really big and tall lady. I caught just the briefest of glances of the feet and hands. Now mind you I did not have my eye pressed up against the space staring, but I can quickly take in a lot of details in a matter of a second or two. Anyway, I went into my little stall and noticed that it did not lock and no darn purse hook. I kind of wedged and hooked my purse up on the top of the door to keep the door closed and my purse off the floor and sat down. I believe I may have cleared my throat in a lady like way. Sometimes after walking my throat is dry. Anyway, the person in the next stall was more noisy. I think some people can be completely silent as they go along in their daily activities and some just make more noise. I heard a couple of throat clears and maybe a grunt or 2. I thought to myself, wow she has a really deep voice. Anyway, I could tell she was going to be awhile. Well I finished up, and gathered my purse, opened the door to my little stall and stepped out into the main part of the bathroom and there stood an older gentleman with his back to me standing up at the urinal peeing! It hit me, I am in the MEN'S BATHROOM. Yes, I had walked into the men's bathroom!!! Oh my goodness. I am so glad that man did not see me. At least I don't think he did. I was not concerned with my embarrassment but with his. I am equally glad that me and the other stallee did not bump into each other. I quickly and as silently as I could walked out of the men's bathroom. I wanted to laugh out loud and tell someone. I almost went over to the tax lady in her little cubicle but she was on the phone. I had to tell someone, so I called my sister. She had not laughed in a while and really needed a good laugh. Glad I could help! Later on that day, while I was visiting my Aunt, I told her my bathroom story and she got a good laugh and it brought her blood pressure down. Glad I could help!

My Blessed 4th 5K Long but so worth reading...

On January 7th I participated in another 5K, but it was not just another 5K. Read on...
Well my 4th 5K was at Veterans Memorial Park in Dawsonville GA to support a ball team. It had just rained right before the race. I got there later than usual, and I really had to go potty. So I did and as I am walking to the start line, the horn blows to start. Well for me a few seconds is not going to matter too much anyway. My mood was a little down. I had not been walking regularly and was not prepared at all. The course was fairly easy. Not too many hills. It was just me. All the other 3 races, Stephanie, Jack, David, Cathy and Lexi (the whole gang) had been there. But not today. It was just me, and I knew I would be the last to finish. Don't get me wrong, I do not mind doing things alone. It really does not bother me. But I could really tell that my motivation was down, way down. After the first lap, I felt like quitting. I thought that if I kept on knowing my time was not going to improve from the last race, that I would be disappointed. I thought it was too hard and no one was there that I knew to see me quit. I did not quit. I kept going. I prayed and that helped. Mostly, I persevered and pushed through. On the last lap, I saw the clock timer and I was at 45 mins and apologized to Lowell that I would be holding everyone up. He said no problem and encouraged me on. Remembering what Steph had told me about the last mile or so. You kind of get that 2nd wind. The last 3/4 of the last leg of the race, I saw a couple of boys (probably all from the baseball team we were supporting) come up behind me. I spoke to them and they said that they were going to walk with me to the finish line! Then a few steps more boys, a few more steps, more boys joined in. They were chattering and talking and joking with each other. They are extremely impressive kids. There was no junk talk, no cursing, no bullying, no pushing, no shoving, no ugliness at all, only goodness and only good clean fun conversation between them. After a little while, I saw the volunteers come and start walking with me. And then Tyler came back around. I met her on the walk and it was her first 5K and it was her birthday. She doubled back after finishing the race and brought me a bottle of water. So, all along I thought I would cross the finish line all alone and leaving no doubts to the onlookers that I was the last one to finish, and my personal best time would not be a personal best. And the one that held up the annoucements at the end. But I was not alone. I had a whole baseball team and ladies behind me to cheer me on as I crossed that finish line with a personal best time no less!!! I was estatic. I was high fiving all the kids and thanking them and telling them how awesome they were. A couple of the smaller boys that I missed came up to me with their arms and hands up and we high fived. Thank you God for giving me that blessing. And thank you God for using my situation to bless those boys. I know how important it is for children of all ages to feel important, useful, giving, part of something. Sometimes I forget that when I let someone help me, you, God, are blessing them. I also met a dear person and we talked about our life's goals and what we are doing now. We had a long conversation. Meeting her was so awesome and encouraging. I told her I would pray for her and her endeavors and she told me she would pray for me. She thanked me for encouraging her! I compare both our situations and in normal secular circumstances, I would never think I could have helped or encouraged. But when God is involved even lowly me who still does not have it together can give my ideas, my prayers, my encouragement to another person. Again, God blessed me and blessed her just by us showing up at the same place. One of her son's was on the ball team and I was praising them and telling her how awesome those boys are. By accepting help, we are allowing a blessing and a joy and a wonderful experience to come in to someone else's life. Dear Lord, Please help me to remember that.

3rd 5K

On December 10th, I participated in another 5K in Dawsonville Ga called the Reindeer Run. We started at Robinson Elementary School and walked all around Dawsonville. It was a nice day. So that makes 3!

 

Painting on silk. I have got to do another one. I loved this medium

Being Thankful

This year I had a very laid back low key Thanksgiving Holiday and it was great great great. I walked the 5K on Thanksgiving morning at a beautiful yet hilly park in Dawsonville. The hills were a challenge, but I kept going. We had to do 3 rounds on this hilly course and on the last go round, up the big hill I laughed at myself. I laughed because the way I was walking up the hill reminded me of a Carol Burnett skit where Tim Conway plays a character that walks real slow and teeny tiny steps and shuffles along. Anyway, I made it and I will be doing another 5K called the Reindeer Run in Dawsonville on December 10th! These "races" are a motivator, encourager, and makes me feel like I have accomplished something. Yea for 5K road races. A friend of mine found one on New Years day in Ellijay. I cannot wait. Got to work on those hills. I am so thankful that I can walk! Praise the Lord. There are so many blessings in my life, and I was able to slow down during the Thanksgiving Holiday and think about them.