Creatively Raw Christian: April 2012

I got too fat to serve God. I know that after you read that first line, you might disagree or come up with many different ways to serve God that does not have a lot of moving around involved. I just could not settle for that. I am blessed beyond measure that I am healthy and smart and have friends and family who love me. I have a great job that I love to get up and go to every weekday morning. I love all things creative and love shopping and traveling and love my Dad's dog Charlie. However I knew I was not doing what I need to for God because I was too fat. I did not have energy; I did not want to go anywhere; I isolated myself from most everything except for work. The first thing I thought about was my weight and would ___________fill in the blank be possible. I avoided people and social situations. I avoided church for years. I could not be "active" in my church. I just did not have anything left over at 6:00pm on Friday evening. I was not obeying God. We are supposed to be telling people about Jesus Christ, what he did for us and how they can have salvation and eternal life. I just could not do it. I was way too self conscious and why would someone want what I have? Would they look at me and say well look how fat she is. If God can't help her then I don't want any part of it. I have to talk to people about my salvation. It is not an option.

Matthew 28:16-20

New International Version (NIV)

The Great Commission

¹⁶ Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. ¹⁷ When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. ¹⁸ Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. ¹⁹ Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

I started reaching out and getting help and over the several months, I have felt more peace than ever before. I am still fat, but I am on the way to not being fat anymore. It is slow, and I backslide and could be working harder, but I don't think or could not picture myself sliding all the way back down the hill to where I was at.
Some of the "help" I have been getting have been have come in lots of different forms.
Here are some people and situations that have directly impacted me and my journey. Not in any particular order.
1) My Dr, Dr LeFever and her staff have been extremely supportive and encouraging. I go every couple of months or so to check in. So far all my numbers are good and even coming down.
2) My dermatologist also brought up my weight. She did it in such a great way and with such ease, I did not feel embarassed or defensive. She truly cares about me and knows that my psoriasis would probably be better if I lost the weight. Just writing this, I am amazed at how many people and situations God has brought to me to help with my healthy lifestyle change.
3) I feel better - a great motivator.
4) I look a little better - wonderful motivator.
5) I am seeing it in pictures - terrific motivator.
6) People are noticing - yea!!!
7) My clothes are getting a little baggier and I am dragging out some smaller sizes.
8) I went to Kohls and can actually wear some of their clothes now. HUGE MOTIVATOR!!!
9) I attend individual counseling as well as group therapy for eating disorders.
10) I reached out to a company in Jasper who was promoting a healthy lifestyle and met my friend, Stephanie, who got me into the 5K's. I started walking in Oct and have done one 5K every month since then. I plan to make a quilt out of my tee shirts once I get enough of them.
11) Angela from Pickens Progress did an article on Stephanie and myself and is willing to do a follow up article. That helped and encouraged me.
12) I went back to church and my church family is the best. I feel like I belong for the first time ever.
13) I started this blog because I wanted to keep a record of stuff that happened along my journey and hopefully to be able to help someone else who struggles with the same or similar stuff.
14) My sister Julie has also been a rock. She loves me no matter what which is unconditional love.
15)We have had a couple of weightloss contests here at work and started promoting healthy snacks. I did not win this last one but I lost 12.8 lbs so I was thrilled with that.
16) I talk to God about this stuff that I struggle with.

17) My sister ran across a Bible Study which we started and need to finish.

18) A frend from work was walking with me for a while. I have gotten out of the habit of exercising and really need to get back to that. I am not sure why I don't love to exercise, but right now I don't. Unless it is swimming. I loooove swimming. That is something that I have missed and mourned for so many years because of being fat. Can't wait until I can go swimming.